beautiful dance

Why is it that when I am tired, I turn to television for rest?  Yesterday, I was falling asleep at work.  When I got home, I planted myself on the couch and watched the BRAVO channel for about 2 hours.  In the back of my mind, I kept telling myself that I needed to turn the TV off and spend time in His word and in prayer.  And yet, I justified that I was too exhausted to do anything but basically turn my brain off and waste away on the couch.  As I crawled into bed, I lay there feeling like I failed.  Like Christ was trying to remind me of and nail down His message of "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28), and I was ignoring it all day. 

One thing I really struggle with and allowing my relationship with the Lord to be a relationship, and not a task.  My heart longs to draw closer and closer to Him, to have him open my heart and eyes and transform me.  But my type-A personallity takes it so far as to make me feel inadequate if I don't invest enough time into reading His word and praying each day.  And that leads to tension and anxiety related to growing in faith.  That's not how it is supposed to be!  I know that.  Pray for me that the Lord can break down my type-A walls so that our relationship is more of a beauitful dance and not an overwhelming assignment or burden of unmet expectations.

K thanks for reading.  Grace and peace♥